The Only Argentine Tango Código Guide You’ll Ever Need
Learn about the cabeceo and more in this handy guide.
Argentine Tango contains many pitfalls for beginners…
If the fundamentals don’t trip you up, then the vocabulary will.
And if the vocabulary doesn’t ensnare you, then tango’s intricate, century-old system of social codes called códigos, will instead.
Grab a drink and a snack for the below article, folks, because this massive, 2000-word tango código guide will cover everything you need to know.
at home
Preparing for the Milonga
Tango socials are multi-hour affairs that involve moderate-to-heavy physical activity, meaning it’s integral to start the evening on the right foot with a nourishing meal and plenty of water.
Why do I stress food and water above all else, you ask?
Because physical activity decimates calories, and your muscles need lots of fuel to keep up with Argentine Tango’s rigorous demands.
Food and water, however, aren’t the only important parts of preparing for a milonga; don’t neglect to lather up, polish those pearly whites, and dress to impress in a set of fresh clothes. And don’t forget to bring your tango shoes!
Don't Sweat It
Followers, since the closed embrace involves wrapping your left arm around the leader, avoid wearing deodorants that leave white marks to milongas.
At the Milonga
Arriving at a Milonga and Where to Sit
Arrival protocol at milongas is similar to other social events: simply pay the entrance fee, usually in cash, at the door. Depending on the venue and season, the entrance might also contain a coat room and attendant.
Seating, however, is where most beginners falter, especially if you’re shy; while it’s tempting to grab a table in the room’s corners, background seats are least optimal for initiating and receiving cabeceos. If dancing is your modus operandi, try claiming a spot at the centermost tables closest to the ronda instead, where eyes will easily find you.
Regarding when to show up, I find that it’s best to arrive at a milonga within 30 minutes of its start time. Any earlier and you risk playing the waiting game (milongueros always run late). Any later, and the prime seats will already be taken. Note that the more popular the milonga, the more competitive attendees get about prime seating.
Floorcraft and the Cabeceo
Assessing the Ronda: tips for beginners
Avoid high adornments on crowded dancefloors.
After claiming your spot, it’s time to slide into your dancing shoes and let the music be your guide.
But before you let your eyes wander, it’s important to assess the ronda and get an intuitive feel for the dancefloor. Here’s some angles to consider:
Speed. Ronda traffic should always run smoothly, but consider how fast it moves. Do couples spend most of their time walking or do they prefer executing stationary figures? Does the music alter the ronda’s flow? If so, how?
Floorcraft. Milonga attendees often create and adhere to unspoken dancefloor rules, especially at salon-style events with tight spacing. Consider, what kinds of figures are being lead? Do you see big, showy moves with high adornments or do you see small, subtle ones? Do the couples move as though they have awareness of one another? Does the ronda appear to have “lanes”, like on a highway? If so, how fast do the lanes move and what kinds of figures are being lead within them?
Skill level. Do you see any beginners? Beginners are usually seen on the floor during a milonga’s early hours, and more skilled dancers replace them as the hours progress.
Want to read more about floorcraft? Check out this awesome and detailed guide from Tango DJ.
The Line of Dance and Lanes
Never go against the ronda’s line of dance; the ronda always rotates counter-clockwise.
The line of dance, or direction of the ronda, always moves counter-clockwise. At large milongas, the ronda may contain two or more lanes of dance; never switch lanes during a tanda.
Initiating, Accepting, and Declining Requests to Dance
The cabeceo is an elegant social tradition in tango.
Once you’ve gotten a feel for the ronda, the real fun begins, in the form of searching for and inviting a partner to dance.
Chances are you’ve already heard of Argentine Tango’s distinct social tradition, the Cabeceo. But how does the Cabeceo work, exactly?
It has three stages:
Initiation. To initiate the Cabeceo, simply scan the room for available potential dance partners (more on that below), both in the ronda and in the seating area. Eye contact is paramount here, especially when attempting to catch a dancer’s gaze as they leave the ronda during the cortina.
Acceptance. If a dancer is interested in your invitation, they’ll indicate it via a Mirada, with matching eye contact, a smile, and a nod. Leaders, upon receiving the Mirada, make your way to the accepting partner and escort them to the ronda. Followers, upon accepting the Cabeceo, remain seated until the leader approaches you.
Decline. Dancers who aren’t interested in your invitation will decline by avoiding your gaze. And while it’s possible that luck, timing, and orchestra might change an uninterested dancer’s mind, try not to re-Cabeceo a dancer who has rejected you more than twice in one night.
When to Cabeceo?
The most optimal time to cabeceo occurs within the first 30-90 seconds of the first song in a tanda. Avoid initiating the cabeceo during the cortina, as experienced dancers base their cabeceo decisions on the orchestra and mood of the tanda.
Who initiates the cabeceo?
While the cabeceo is traditionally initiated by leaders (any gender can learn to lead), select tango communities encourage followers to exercise more agency in selecting dance partners. When in doubt about how your role relates to a código, check in with the milonga organizer or your teachers (if they’re in attendance).
Assessing a Potential Partner’s Eagerness to Dance
Catching a dancer’s eye is only half of the cabeceo equation. The other half is assessing whether someone wants to dance in the first place.
Here’s some tell-tale signs:
They’re wearing dance shoes. Tango shoes are distinct and unmissable; patterns, lace, bright colors, and polished leather abound on the feet of hungry dancers.
They’re standing near the ronda. Eager tangeuros signal readiness by literally staying on their toes. The same can be said of in-demand dancers who barely have time to sit down.
They’re sitting with alert body language. Engaged, upright posture is a clue here. If a dancer is engrossed in conversation, pay attention to where their chest is facing; chances are it faces the ronda.
Some signs a dancer is not available include:
They’re eating. Milongas brim with tasty grub. Try to cabeceo when the person you desire doesn’t have so much on their plate.
They’ve taken off their shoes. Dancers who remove their footwear before a milonga’s conclusion signal two things: that they’re taking a break or that they’re finished for the night.
They’re conversing. Pay attention to body language once more here; chests that face conversational partners instead of the ronda signal unavailability.
They’re part of a closed couple. Select tangueros prefer dancing with their partner only; avoid inviting dancers who repeatedly share tandas with the same person.
Catching Their Eye
Followers who are go-getters outside of tango face an interesting conundrum; how can they get invites from a desired leader when followers are forbidden from asking for dances and initiating the cabeceo?
The answer lies in walking around the room. The more confident you look, the better.
Because since most leaders are men, and most men are visual creatures, followers increase their cabeceo chances when they place themselves in a leader’s field of vision.
Entering and Exiting the Ronda
Leaders, signal your intent to enter the ronda by making eye contact with the nearest leader.
Initiated a successful cabeceo? Congratulations, because now it’s time to take your place in the spotlight.
Leaders, remember that your duties include channeling your inner gentleman(woman); protect the follower and make a memorable impression by escorting them to the edge of the dancefloor.
When approaching the ronda, don’t enter right away (unless it’s empty) and never do so after the follower! Signal your intention instead, by making eye contact with the nearest leader. After noticing your intent, they will make space for you and your partner to enter.
Upon the tanda’s conclusion, thank the follower for the dance and escort them back to their table.
additional info you should know
Signaling Romantic Interest and Códigos for Established Couples
While it’s tempting to dance more than one tanda in one night with the same person, such actions are traditionally used to signal romantic interest for someone in tango.
Be mindful of this when dancing with strangers and purely platonic friends; if you do fancy someone, however, try reserving three tandas (one tango, one vals, and one milonga) for them before popping the dating question at the end of the night.
If arriving with an established romantic partner, the night’s first and last tandas are traditionally reserved for your loved one.
Dancefloor Conversations
Followers, don’t be surprised if the leader uses the time between songs in a tanda to flirt and shower you with compliments; this is a normal part of Argentine Tango and does not necessarily mean a leader wants to hook up with you.
DJs and Music Set Structure
Save for the rare milonga with a live orchestra, music will be brought to you by DJs who specialize in Argentine Tango.
To ensure dancer energy levels (physical and emotional) last throughout the night, DJs organize their sets into groups of three to four songs. These groups, called tandas, always follow the below pattern:
Tango : Tango : Vals :: Tango : Tango : Milonga
The above cycle takes about one hour; a typical three-hour milonga contains three full tanda cycles.
And while tango tandas traditionally feature four songs (vals and milonga tandas traditionally include three songs), three-song tango tandas are occasionally used at severely gender imbalanced milongas, to promote faster dancer rotation and a greater likelihood of successful cabeceos.
Between each tanda, DJs insert 30-90 seconds of non-tango music. This is called a cortina; DJs use them to refresh the auditory palette and signal to dancers that it’s time to clear the ronda and search for new partners.
Last Tanda
Wondering how to keep track of time at milongas? Listen closely for an iconic tango song called “La Cumparsita”; this track is traditionally used to signal the night’s last tanda.
Drinking Etiquette
No social occasion is complete without libations, and milongas often have wine in abundance.
Since balance and fine muscle control are essential ingredients in great tango, always be mindful of your alcohol consumption at tango events and know that intoxication is frowned upon.
Dancer Intent and Managing Expectations
Since I wrote this guide with beginner tangueros in mind, it’s important to address a common pitfall for milonga newbies – that cabeceos and miradas might be few and far between during your first few socials.
The reasons for possible planchadora, or sitting all night, however, has nothing to do with you 99% of the time.
Simply put, dancers prioritize one thing at milongas: dancing, with other experienced dancers who have already navigated past beginners’ growing pains.
To prevent motivation-killing discouragement in the face of rejection, arrive to your first milonga with modest expectations. Remember that it’s okay to sit back and observe the ronda. Know that your time in the spotlight will come, so long as you keep learning. And understand that all dancers, no matter how advanced, deal with rejection.
After the Milonga
Promoting Healthy Sleep
Though milongas end in the AM hours, I find that it’s difficult to go straight to bed afterward because tango makes your body release oxytocin, a bonding hormone; to let your brain know that it’s time to rest, perform a quick winddown routine upon returning home:
Avoid turning large lights on. Prepare for bed by the glow of nightlights and lamps instead.
If you perspired heavily during the milonga, take another quick shower. Don’t forget to perform your evening skincare routine and remove any makeup or fragrance as well.
Change into clean pajamas. Try reserving a set of freshly laundered pajamas for after the milonga.
Perform 4-7-8 breathing in bed with the lights off. This exercise massages your nervous system’s vagus nerve, a branch responsible for feelings of calm and relaxation. To perform, breathe in for 4 seconds through your nose, hold your breath for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds through your mouth. Repeat for four full cycles.
Responding to Sore Muscles
Sore muscles occur when you push your body past familiar exercise territory, and if hours of tango are new for you, expect soreness to develop in your calves, back, and core within 24-48 hours after a milonga.
Treat aching muscles with a massage, adequate meals, and plenty of rest; avoid working the same group of muscles until the soreness subsides.
Milonga Don’ts
Don’t be this guy.
Poor Hygiene
As mentioned in an earlier post, Argentine Tango means getting up close and personal with strangers.
Don’t let body odor and halitosis become your claims to fame; always freshen up with a quick shower and dental care before arriving at milongas, and don’t forget to keep emergency mints stashed in your bag.
Inappropriate Attire
Compared to other don’ts on this list, this offense is subjective, as clothing requirements depend on the venue and event formality. Evening milongas at special tango events or during prime nights (Friday and Saturday), for example, are more formal than afternoon or weekday evening milongas.
As a general rule, avoid clothes you’d wear while lounging around the house or to bed. Denim and clothing you’d wear to work, such as suiting and items with constrictive, inflexible fits, are ill advised as well.
A comprehensive guide on appropriate clothing for leaders and followers is coming soon.
Teaching
Want to really rustle a milonguero’s jimmies? Provide unsolicited instruction on the dancefloor.
Unless you’re at a practica or pratilonga, never teach at a milonga. Ever.
Conversing while Dancing
Tango is about conversing with your body, not your mouth; no talking while dancing.
Humming or Singing while Dancing
Humming and singing along to the music while dancing is irritating and intrusive; do so at your own peril.
Song Requests
DJs in Argentine Tango operate by a unique set of rules; they don’t take song requests.
And while this no-no isn’t as offensive as teaching or poor hygiene, it could create an embarrassing situation for you and the DJ.
Interrupting Others in Conversation
Milongas double as dance and socialization events; never interrupt another’s conversation.
Saying “Thank You” Before the End of a Tanda
Watch out for this one if politeness is in your nature; in Argentine Tango, thanking your partner before the last song of a tanda means you didn’t enjoy the dance and that you wish to exit the ronda early.
Unjust Mid-Tanda Abandonment
The types of people who gravitate to this blog aren’t likely to engage in this behavior, but I decided to cover it anyway because elitists and Tango Vultures love to partake in unjust mid-tanda abandonment.
As a general rule, ending a tanda early should only be reserved for unforgivable offenses, like inappropriate touching, rude or lascivious comments, or any form of abuse.
General faux pax, however, like an uncomfortable embrace and poor musicality, are harmless; avoid dancers who have a pattern of using honest mistakes as an excuse to prematurely end tandas.
Heavy Makeup and Fragrance
I love me some makeup and perfume, so you know this final don’t was painful to write…
Heavy scents and makeup, such as looks popularized by Instagram baddies, are incompatible with Argentine Tango, as sweat, heat, and physical intimacy intensify fragrances and trigger makeup meltdowns.
When beautifying yourself for milongas, remember to consider other’s sensitivities; apply way less than you usually do, and if one application is too much, opt not to wear it at all.
Milonga Do’s
Great hygiene makes for great tandas.
Bring Food and Drinks to Share
Calling all bakers and wine snobs; though milonga hosts ensure refreshment tables are well-stocked, they’ll appreciate it if you bring a little something of your own to share. Bonus points if it’s from Argentina.
Dance with New People
A tango community’s health depends on its members’ willingness to dance with new people.
If you see unfamiliar faces, send a cabeceo or mirada their way, and don’t forget to invite dancers who have been sitting for most of the night.
Listen to the Music
As old as it sounds, tango music tends to sneak up on people.
It certainly did for me; after two years of scratching my head, the likes of Canaro and Pugliese make frequent appearances on my Spotify playlists.
To help you develop a taste for tango music, try reserving a tanda or two for sitting back and listening.
Listen to Your Body
Tango should never harm you; respect your body when it says it needs rest and food.
Apply What You’ve Learned in Class
Have you recently learned a new move? Try it out at a milonga.
Besides strengthening muscle memory, applying new figures at milongas builds confidence, improves your motivation, and freshens your repertoire.
Volunteer
I love to volunteer for Argentine Tango events, as it’s a way to build strong relationships with community members.
If you notice that a host needs help with event setup and logistics, offer a helping hand.
Have Fun
Between honing your fundamentals, polishing your floorcraft, and deciphering the music, fun can easily get lost in the Argentine Tango’s hard work shuffle.
When arriving at milongas, don’t forget to have fun; let the night carry you to new places, socialize with friends, and celebrate how far you’ve come as a dancer.
Do you have any additional questions about tango Códigos? Let me know in the comments!
